Saturday, May 24, 2014

Burial of the Dead




==========
Burial of the Dead
Off Camera
==========

I am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord;
he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live;
and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.

Father Bernacki is the celebrant today and his voice echoes out in the cemetery while the small crowd of family gathers around the empty remains of Tony Morgan.  The priest is decked out in a long, loose-fitting black cassock with a white stole.  The black symbolizes death, the end of life, but the white symbolizes the resurrection and the beginning of a new life.  This service is supposed to be for my late husband, Tony Morgan, but this is every bit about me as it is about him.  And I apologize if that sounds rather selfish or conceited of me, but it is the truth.  It is how I truly feel.

It is a bright and sunny day in Belfast, Northern Ireland.  Tony was never much of a churchgoer.  I was not either, to be completely honest, but part of me felt it was only right to give this man a Christian burial.  Maybe it was out of my own guilty conscience considering I was the one who took Tony’s life?

I know that my Redeemer liveth,
and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth;
and though this body be destroyed, yet shall I see God;
whom I shall see for myself and mine eyes shall behold,
and not as a stranger.

For nearly a year I had been battling demons within myself, demons brought to the surface by a perfect storm of outside influences that drove me to the brink of insanity.  The potential of a happy life with Tony, living forever as his contented wife, was presented to me.  Another potential given to me was the life of a successful professional athlete, a life that had been threatened to end when GDW shut down just as my reign as GDW World Heavyweight Champion had only really begun.

Most professional athletes can successfully juggle both lives.  Most can be a good husband or wife and a good athlete at the same time.  My own inner demons and their constant mental battles with one another made it impossible for me to do both.  I could not have my cake and eat it too, I was faced with a question; would I make Tony happy and be his wife or would I seek out my own success and be a wrestler?

In the end my demons won out by eradicating that happy, sweet wife personality.  All that was left was the darkness and that darkness deep inside of me forced me to take the life of my beloved Tony.

For none of us liveth to himself,
and no man dieth to himself.
For if we live, we live unto the Lord.
and if we die, we die unto the Lord.
Whether we live, therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.

Father Bernacki folds his hands in front of him and bows his head, closing his eyes in the direction of the coffin containing Tony’s remains.

Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord;
even so saith the Spirit, for they rest from their labors.

He looks back up at us and smiles warmly.

The Lord Be With You!

“And with thy spirit…” I mumble silently to myself while the rest of the family and my brother Mark gathered here today shouts it in their loudest voice.

To this day a nagging part of my mind feels guilt over what happened with me and Tony.  I truly did love him; or at least, a part of myself loved him, but the darkness did not love him.  The darkness did not trust Tony and wanted Tony out of the way permanently.  The darkness felt threatened in more ways than one.

When I was a child and all through my teenage years I suffered beatings and abuse at the hands of an abusive father, a man I no longer consider my father.  George O’Brian routinely beat me and I got to the point where I could not take it any longer.  I ran away from home with my brothe Mark intending to bring ourselves up and we did, with the assistance of Glenn Braddock, a man we owe our lives to.

But I swore from that day on that I would never again allow myself to get caught in that situation again, I would never again allow myself to become that weak young girl who would get beaten and abused.  That is why I created the darkness.  The darkness is an evil side of my personality, a side I created for myself as a protection, a security blanket if you will, to make sure that I never again suffered abuse like I did at the hands of George O’Brian.

The darkness did not see me as a loving, happy wife.  It saw me as becoming weak, weak enough to allow myself to get abused once more, this time at the hands of Tony Morgan.  I do not believe Tony would have ever hurt me, but the darkness did not believe it.  The darkness wanted to protect me.  That is why the darkness took over and eliminated him.

Can you imagine how difficult it must be to feel so powerless?  I killed my own husband and yet…I did not kill him…

“Let us pray…”

O God, whose mercies cannot be numbered: Accept our
prayers on behalf of thy servant Tony Joseph Morgan., and grant him an
entrance into the land of light and joy, in the fellowship of
thy saints and the Ever-Blessed Virgin Mary;
through Jesus Christ thy Son our Lord, who liveth
and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, on God, now
and for ever.

“Amen…”

Now that the darkness has seemingly taken complete control of my mind and body,  I have begun to descend into old habits of manipulation and deceit.  Back when GDW was still around the fans cheered me, they respected me for winning the GDW World Heavyweight Championship fairly in a tournament.  The fans cheered Mark and I was we sought after the IWC World Tag Team Championships by facing off against The Harem.  But now what have I done?  After failing to capture the titles from The Harem I have sold my soul and joined them just so I can be one half of the champions, replacing Polly Norah in their title match against Kathryn Pearson and a mystery partner at Extreme Fury.

Is that really who I am?  Am I someone who is willing to sell her soul for the world tag team championship?  Or am I doing this for something else?  Am I doing it for someone else?  Am I putting up with all of this for the sake of Polly Norah?  Maybe there is hope for me after all.

There is no hope for Tony, though.  He is dead and gone and any hopes of a relationship with him has been wiped out after I put a bullet through his head.  I made it look like a suicide, which is easy enough to believe considering his psychotic ex, Carolyn Rose York, had just kidnapped and tortured him.  It’s easy to believe the post-traumatic stress syndrome of that ordeal could lead to him committing suicide.  But I know the truth and I have to live with it the rest of my life and that kind of pain is something not even the darkness can protect me from.

O God, whose blessed Son was laid in a sepulcher in the
garden: Bless, we pray, this grave, and grant that he whose
body is to be buried here may dwell with Christ in
paradise, and may come to thy heavenly kingdom; through
thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord.

“Amen…”

Upon the closing prayer I watch with silenced grief as the casket is slowly lowered into the ground.  I blow a symbolic kiss towards the casket as it slowly drifts further and further away from me, a past life of mine being buried forever.

Tony had few family left and of those family few actually cared for him.  Truth be told, they are just here to keep up appearances.  They are wearing a mask, hiding their true feelings.  I have made it a point not to hide my true self any longer.  What you see from Sophie is what you get, unlike this crowd of mourners and grievers who do not stay long by Tony’s side after the service concludes.  Father Bernacki approaches me next.

“Are you ok, Mrs. Morgan?”

“Ms. O’Brian…”

“Excuse me?”

I look up into his eyes. “Tony is dead.  I guess that makes me Ms. O’Brian again.”

“I suppose so…”

“I am fine, Father.  Thank you.”

He is certainly not convinced but he knows by the look on my face and the tone of my voice that messing with me right now is not a good idea so he turns and walks off.  I do not need words of encouragement or spiritual advice right now.  I do not anything or anyone.  Perhaps all I truly am good at is inflicting pain and punishment upon others?  Perhaps I do need to just unleash the darkness, do not hold back.

“Hello Tony…” everyone is gone and now is a perfect time to meditate to myself “…I think now is as good a time as any to explain myself.”

A deep sigh escapes my lips.  I brush a strand of my long black hair out of my face.

“You were a good sweet man, Tony, and you deserved better than this.  You took a chance on a woman who was obviously broken and you tried to fix her, you tried to love her, thinking that your love could make her better and that makes you a saint.  I break things, Tony.  I break things and break people.  That’s what I do best, inside and outside of the ring, and you knew that going in.  You knew the risks going into such a relationship with me and you still loved me and wanted to help me.”

Tears form in my eyes.  Immediately I reach up and wipe the tears out of my eyes. “I am sorry, I am so sorry, I did not mean for this to happen, but I could not control the darkness.  It just happened.”

I gaze up into the heavens. “I am not an atheist.  I do believe there is something beyond this life, what it is I do not know.  I just hope that wherever you are now you know that I truly did love you.”

I look back down at the casket. “Goodbye, Tony.”

Well that’s it then.  I have said my goodbyes to Tony and I hope he has forgiven me, wherever he is.  I hope we can now move on from this and I can focus on the rest of my life.  As selfish as it may sound, I still have a career to worry about.  I cannot be mourning over Tony forever.  I cannot let Kordy and Polly down.  That in mind I turn around with the intent of walking away but I find my muscular, well-built brother Mark O’Brian is blocking my path.

“We should talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Mark.”

I start to walk away but he puts his hand on my shoulder, stopping me from going any further.  Mark is not usually this aggressive with me.  Whatever this is about, he is hell bent on getting his words in.

“Oh I think we have a lot to talk about.”

“What’s your problem, dear brother?”

“I’ve been watching you the past month and I just…I just…”

“What is it?” I am growing more frustrated now. “Spit it out.”

“I just don’t recognize you anymore!”

I chuckle. “Oh really?  I’m glad you like my new hairstyle.”

“I’m not joking around, Sophie.” He remarks. “You have changed.”

Great, here comes the lecture.  I place my hands on my hips and prepare for what he has to say.

“Really?”

“Yeah, and let’s start with the small stuff.  We came to IWC together to become world tag team champions together.  But then I find out over the internet not from you personally that you have joined The Harem?  What’s wrong, Sophie?  Couldn’t wait for me?”

I shake my head. “No, Mark, I couldn’t.  I could not wait for you when you and I together were getting treated like a joke.”

“Total War is not a joke!”

“No, it’s not, but IWC is treating it as such.  Instead of being in the thick of the tag title hunt we are relegated to working with three imbeciles to fight Sinistry?”

“But Sinistry…”

“…is not our problem.” I remark, interrupting him. “Sinistry is not our problem, dear brother, and yet certain people are expecting us to just fight the good fight?”

Once more I shake my head. “No, I do not fight the good fight, I fight for myself, I fight for success, and I came to IWC to fight for the world tag team titles.  Now, thanks to my agreement, I have inserted myself into the thick of the tag title picture right where I belong.”

“Yeah but what about me?!”

“What about you?” I frown, sneering at him. “You didn’t seem to mind being interim world tag team champion with Greg Venom in MCW while Doctor Ian was on the shelf.  How is this any different?”

He sighs, holding his hands up in a sign of defeat. “Fine, you got me there, but there’s one other thing you can’t argue…”

“What’s that, pray tell?”

He points at the casket. “Tony.”

“Mark…do not go there…”

“Oh I’m going there.” He points a thumb at himself. “I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but I’m not completely stupid and I am pretty damn observant.  I am not ignorant to what you’ve done.”

He points a finger at me. “My girlfriend Ashley’s sister Leslie was framed for murder by Joshua Manning and his boyfriend.  After Leslie was executed YOU killed Josh and his boyfriend in revenge.  You killed Carolyn Rose York.  You killed Tony.  You killed all four of them and painted all of them as suicides.”

I sarcastically applaud him. “Bravo, Mark!  You are not as stupid as I thought!  Do you want a prize?”

“No, I just want you to listen to this one last thing I am going to tell you.”

He shakes his head. “I am done.”

“You are done with what?”

“I am done protecting you.  It’s becoming increasingly difficult, Sophie.”

I never asked for your protection.”

“You damn sure needed it!” He exclaims loudly. “Even Ashley is beginning to notice how suspicious it is that so many suicides have happened when you were around.  I have convinced her it’s just a coincidence but how long do you think the police will think that?”

I honestly do not have an answer for him.  I open my mouth to answer but I cannot, no words come out.

“Ashley and I are going to get married, Sophie.”

“You…you are?” I am stunned by this revelation. “But it’s…it’s so sudden…”

“Yeah, well, you’ve been so busy fucking Polly Norah and plotting your own husband’s death that you couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to my life.”

He holds up one finger. “Firstly, Ashley and I successfully gained custody of my daughter from Ashley’s parents.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and that’s not all.  Ashley just found out she’s pregnant.”

“So you’re going to have another child?”

“Yeah, this time with Leslie’s sister.” He chuckles. “Funny, I have a daughter with Leslie, now that she’s gone I am with her sister Ashley and am about to have a child with her.”

He turns his back and starts to walk away. “Mark, wait…”

“Sorry, Sophie, I do not want my daughter or my future child around death and that’s what you have become.”

“Mark, please!”

“You know how to reach me, Sophie.  Get yourself help first.  Seriously, get yourself some professional help.”



==========
Secret Weapon
On Camera
==========

With the exception of Alexander the Great and the Greek Empire, no one single nation has ever been able to conquer the entire known world.  Many have tried, but all have failed.  Adolf Hitler and Nazi Germany, The Soviet Union, Napoleon Bonaparte and the French empire, and many more whom I could continue to name off one by one, all have tried to achieve global conquest but all fell short of their ultimate goal.

It took the massive bloodshed and human wreckage of a world war for the world leaders to figure out that individually they could do nothing on the world stage but together, as a united force, they were unstoppable.  So, after World War II, under the innocent pretense of ensuring safety and security, the world leaders formed the United Nations but, in reality, its goal was a new world order in which they could play with the globe as they saw fit.  Individually they had failed, but together they had finally succeeded.

Ever since it was announced that I would be taking Polly Norah’s place in the world tag team championship match people have asked, why would I take on such an immense challenge?  Furthermore they wanted to know why I would seemingly turn on my own tag team partners in the elimination tag and focus my time and energy on something else entirely?

It’s quite simple, really.  Jessica Lasiewicz may have caused quite a stir with her recent pipe bomb but she is absolutely right when she speaks of having your priorities in order.  My priority when I came to IWC was to become IWC World Tag Team Champion.  My only enemy were the champions, at the time The Harem.  But then Sinistry’s Pestilence decided to stick their nose into Total War’s business and so we had to take care of them.

So to all of my supposed fans who thought Total War was fighting the good fight against Sinistry, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Total War does not care about Sinistry.  Let Desmond Drake and Ba’al name it SIN and take over this company for all I care.  They were my concern only because they had been standing between me and the world tag team championship.

Oh but there are so many ways you can skin a cat, there are many ways to achieve your end game in a global battle of chess.  Victory on the battle field is not the only way to achieve ultimate victory.  Backstage politics, making new friends and allies, that is how the art of war is truly played.

Nikita Kruschev, during the heart of the Cold War, once said “We will take America without firing a shot.”  That is what I have now done.  I have become world tag team champion without firing a shot.

Did I sell out to Ethan Von Aaron and The Harem?  Yes, I did.  I sold out but what did I get in return?  I gained the gold I so rightfully deserved.  Am I taking my very good friend Polly’s place on this team?  No, we are teammates together in all of this.  So of course I am going to step up and help Polly out in her time of need when she is unable to compete.  And if Polly being hurt wasn’t bad enough, the challengers have the added advantage of a mystery opponent.

I applaud Pearson for her shrewd tactics.  Keeping her mystery weapon shrouded in secrecy in a time honored strategy that tends to work out.  After all, how can one prepare for the unknown?  How can we combat something when we do not know what it is we are combating?

Nazi Germany tried this very same tactic as they were racing to build the atomic bomb.  Unfortunately for Hitler, the allies discovered it first and they built the bomb first and they did not keep their bomb a secret.  They unleashed the bomb and they unleashed a living hell upon Hiroshima and Nagasaki, promptly ending world war two.

You have your mysteries and secrets, Pearson, but The Harem has its own not-so-secret weapon, an atomic bomb by the name of Sophie O’Brian.

Ethan didn’t just choose a random schmuck to replace Polly Norah in this match, he didn’t just choose a great tag team wrestler either, he chose an individual who is tag team wrestling personified.  Twice I held the Global Division of Wrestling World Tag Team Titles, twice I held the Millennium Wrestling Alliance World Tag Team Titles, in both companies I was the longest reigning tag team champion in company history.  I held both sets of tag titles at the same time.

I have a history of working together with anyone and everyone I am paired up with, not just my brother Mark.  Working together with Kordelia Price is going to be a piece of cake.  For sweet, innocent Kordy is dangerous on her own, she just needs guidance to make her deadly.  And just think of what she can do under the guidance of the most brilliant wrestling strategist in history?

If you think you are in the driver’s seat heading into Extreme Fury with the IWC World Tag Team Championship on the line then you are sorely mistaken.  If you foolishly believe that your mysteries and secrets, your masked partner hiding behind you, gives you an edge, then you have fallen into our trap, a trap set by your own arrogance.

Your arrogance will be your downfall, Pearson, if you think that everything is set up for you all nice and neat in a shiny package with a bow on it.  Victory for the allies in World War II was won through blood, shed, tears, and the loss of millions of lives.  Victory for the allies came at the cost of two entire cities of civilians in Japan.  Victory for the allies came at the sacrifice of men and women on the beaches of Normandy.

Victory will not be wrapped up for you or for Kordy and I in some nice and neat package.  It will be bloody, it will be violent, and the ones willing to push the envelope, the ones willing to unleash the Extreme Fury upon their opposition, will be the ones who walk out victorious.